Remembering 9/11

As I sat there this morning, watching the 10th Anniversary Memorial that was being televised, I was not prepared for the wave of emotions that came flooding over me. Sadness, disbelief, horror, uncertainty…. Feelings that brought me right back to that day exactly a decade ago.

I know that I will never, ever forget those feelings of that day, and the days following.

September 11, 2001, is a day that so rocked our world, our nation and each of us individually that I know I am not alone in remembering that day in great detail.

That morning, Pete was off to work; Tyler, age nine and in 4th grade and Jake, age six in 1st grade; headed off to their 5th day of school. My boys were little and so I never had any morning news shows on and typically we left the television off before school anyway. So I had no clue what was happening in the outside world.

That morning, Drew (age 3) and I headed over to his new preschool for open house, to see his classroom and meet the teachers. We walked into the classroom, and immediately sensed something, but not sure what. A couple of friends walked up to me with somber expressions and said, “Can you believe it?” The then told me of what they had seen on the news just prior to heading to preschool. No, I couldn’t believe it.

We went through the motions of the preschool open house, all the while trying to get our minds around this tragic news, and trying to shield the preschoolers from what we could not even understand. It didn’t seem real. I couldn’t be real. This doesn’t happen in our country.

We had plans to go out to lunch with some friends following the open house but instead we all headed home. To the safety and shelter of our own homes. Home to turn the TV on and try to understand. Home to be with our loved ones.

Pete left work early and arrived home around the same time Drew and I did. I remember the hugs and I remember the feeling of wanting to go over to the elementary school and pull Ty and Jake out for the day and just have them at home with us. I wanted to, but I didn’t. When they finally did get home from school, there were more hugs.

I remember having the TV on and being glued for hours and hours to the news coverage. I think I felt if I watched the coverage enough, somehow I might be able to understand how and why this happened.

I know now, that we will never understand.

But we will always remember.