mommy guilt

Yesterday I got a call from the middle school… from the 6th grade dean. Yikes- this can never be good I am thinking. And I was right!

He tells me that someone reported an incident that happened at our bus stop after school on Monday.

Ok- I take a deep breath, thinking that is most likely involves some of the neighbor boys.
We have been in our neighborhood for over ten years, as most of the families have, and there is a big group of boys that have known each other almost their entire lives. They are like brothers- they get along great most of the time and have fun playing in the neighborhood; etc. So I thought that it was probably someone getting pushed or maybe a name called- but then I thought for a second that it was weird that the school would be involved and not just handled with in the neighborhood.

Let’s just say my assumption was wrong.

The dean goes on to say that this incident involves another student (not a kid from our neighborhood) and Drew. This other boy (who Drew doesn’t really know other than they ride the same bus), usually gets off one of the first bus stops but for some reason decided to stay on the bus Monday and get off at Drew’s stop, which is one of the last stops.

The dean goes on to tell me that the boy, a seventh grader, pulls out a pocket knife and then pushes Drew in the head. An 8th grade neighbor boy pushed the other boy away from Drew. No one was hurt but--Oh My Gosh!!!!!

I am in complete disbelief! How could this have happened at our bus stop? In our own neighborhood? A 7th grader pulling out a pocket knife? And Drew never said a word to me about this??!! Oh My Gosh!!!

Here is where the mommy guilt comes in.

I am always here when the boys get home from school. Always.

It has always been so important to me to be here when the boys get home from school. I have been so fortunate to be able to be able to be home with them for all of these years. And I am so thankful for that.
When they were little guys I wanted to be here so they wouldn’t have to go to after school care. But as they have grown, and are now in middle school and high school, I think it is equally important (maybe even more so) to be here as much as possible for them after school. This always seems to be the time they are most likely to talk and to share about their day. And so I am always here because I don’t want to miss that opportunity.

But Monday was a busy day- I was running a little late from an appointment so I was not here when Drew got home. And when I did get home I said a quick ‘hi and how was your day’ to him and grabbed some paperwork and ran out the door again. I was picking Jake up from school to take him to go get his driver’s permit. After Jake passed his permit test he wanted to stop at a couple of stores to do a little shopping, so we did. Then I went out to dinner with some friends that evening and got home after Drew was in bed.

Mommy guilt! I am always home- except for Monday- when my boy needed me.