{life lately}

Happy that Jake was home for a full week for "Fall Break'. It was so nice to have him back in the house and give him a little TLC. He came home very tired from mid-terms and with a bad throat infection. So between the antibiotics, extra sleep and some mama home-cooking he is all ready to get back in the swing of things at school.  :) College takes a lot out of a guy!

Enjoying the beautiful Fall season! Fall has always been my favorite season with the cooler weather, the gorgeous tree colors, trips to the apple orchard, nature walks, college football games.... and  I am soaking every bit of the season in.

Tasting some old and new favorite pumpkin recipes. Pumpkin Bars are always a family favorite and one that I have been making for years. And this Chipotle Pumpkin Soup recipe is one that I will definitely be making again! Delicious!

So pleased that my recent appointment with my cardiologist brought good news in that my echocardiogram showed that my heart function is now at 95%, up from 55% just a year ago! Extremely thankful that the medications are working.

Looking forward to a fun month in November... with a weekend trip to Notre Dame (which includes a football game), a visit and a football game at SJU, celebrating a bunch of birthdays and of course Thanksgiving! I am also looking forward in starting a project that documents '30 days of Thanks' that I will share here starting the first of the month.

a magnet

This morning I had an appointment for a cardiac MRI and I have been a bit nervous about it. (A couple of months ago I had a CT scan of the heart and for that test they had to slow my heart rate down using medication in an IV in order to take the pictures that were needed. I was so out of it and really didn't feel well for the rest of the day.) So remembering that appointment and my dislike of doctor's offices in general and my worrying tendencies; I was really not looking forward to this appointment. :)

Source: Uploaded by user via Kathie on Pinterest

But God is good! This morning as I opened my Jesus Calling devotion book to today's date, this is an excerpt of what was written on that page: "Trust Me and don't be afraid, for I am your strength and Song... My power is absolutely unlimited! Human weakness, consecrated to Me, is like a magnet, drawing my Power into your neediness. However, fear can block the flow of my strength into you. Instead of trying to fight your fears, concentrate on trusting me..."

I am always so amazed and absolutely love when these 'coincidences' happen and the exact words that I need to hear are shown to me! These words could not have been more perfect for me today and totally gave me peace.

First, I needed to trust God and not to be afraid. And the words: "Human weakness, consecrated to Me, is like a magnet, drawing my power into your neediness" kept playing in my mind as I was laying in that MRI machine for 45 minutes. So comforting and I felt at total peace. I was giving God my fear and He was giving His power to me, like a magnet! So amazing! God is good!

See, God has come to save me. I will trust in him and not be afraid. The Lord God is my strength and my song; he has given me victory. With joy you will drink deeply from the fountain of salvation. 
Isaiah 12:2-3

my {heart}

Today is 'Wear Red Day', a day to support the fight against heart disease in women by wearing red. This year, this day has a new meaning for me.

This past November (the day before my birthday), I went out for my usual 4 mile walk. It was a windy day and I was walking into the wind for the first mile, when I started having bad chest pains. I thought maybe it was just from walking into the wind, so I pushed through and finished my walk. The pain in my chest eased up a bit, but never really went away.

The next day, a Sunday, was my 44th birthday and we celebrated by taking a walk around Lake Harriet in the beautiful 60 degree weather and went out for a family dinner that evening. I was still having chest pains and told myself that if I was still having them the next day I would go into Urgent Care. (Really dumb, I know, but I didn't want to ruin my birthday by spending it at the doctor.)

Monday morning arrived and I was feeling a bit better, maybe just a twinge of chest pain. After getting everyone off to school and work, I headed over to Lifetime and worked out on the elliptical for an hour and then came home and jumped in the shower. This is when I started really not feeling well. My chest was really hurting and I started shaking uncontrollably. I was afraid I was going to fall so I sat down and called Pete at work. He was at a client's site but came home and took me to urgent care.

Urgent care ran a bunch of tests: EKG, blood sugar... which all came back normal. My blood pressure was high, but it has been consistently 'borderline high' for the past few years. The doctor thought it would be a good idea to go to the ER to get looked at further given my family history of heart disease. After hours at the ER and many more tests, they still couldn't find a reason for my chest pains. Frustrating but the good news was that there was no signs of a heart attack.

ER scheduled me for a stress test for that Wednesday (the day before Thanksgiving). The day of the test I was not nervous at all because after all of the other tests done I thought this test would come back normal as well. I started the test by having an echocardiogram (sonogram of the heart) and they immediately paused the test and brought in a doctor. The Dr. looked at the images and told me that my heart appeared to be enlarged. He wanted me to continue with the stress test and would talk to me after about the results.

I was told I have cardiomyopathy which is a weakening of the heart muscle, my heart is enlarged and it can't pump as well as it should. I have been put on 3 different medications, am having some more tests done and am regularly see my cardiologist. Other than fatigue and very low energy, I  have been feeling really pretty good as I continue to process my diagnosis.

weekend lens {sunny days}

This weekend brought us home from a fun week at the cabin! {Thanks Mom and Dad.} It was a low key weekend with unpacking and such. The weather was absolutely gorgeous and so a walk out at Lake Harriet was the perfect way to spend an afternoon.

Complete with a stop at the Rose Gardens.

I love this statue and the saying that is on on it.

I heard back from my dermatologist, and the news was great. The spot on my arm that they surgically excised came back clean from pathology! Which means no new stitches in my arm! The spot on my back that was biopsied, came back positive for the same Basal Cell Carcinoma. Which was not a surprise and a surgery scheduled for next week.

The weekend ended with a backyard bonfire-- which in my opinion, is the perfect way to end a weekend!!!

this past week

This past week has brought...

sunflower surprises

a Mom and Tyler shopping trip

a new laptop as a bonus from Ty's work

and a first paycheck for Jake.

Friday came, and I started my morning with a long walk to calm my soul before my doctor appointment.

15 stitches later and I will find out with in a week if the area is 'clean' and that the basal cell is gone. The Dr. also found another spot on my back that is being biopsied. (She thinks that most likely is also a basal cell which will require another little surgery.) We will find out soon.

That evening, Pete took me out to dinner at a favorite restaurant.

This weekend also brought us out with friends for an evening of music and Mexican food.

We saw Marcia Ball and Tommy Castro out at the MN Zoo.

{Pete and Tommy Castro}

And now- time to get ready for a week at a cabin.

Too Much Sun

See that spot on my arm? Where the band-aid is? That is the result of too many years of worshiping the sun.

Several weeks ago, I went to my doctor about a spot on my forehead. It was a spot that had been there for a couple of months. (It bothered me enough to get me to the doctor.) While at the appointment, I had the doctor look at that spot and also a spot on my arm. The family practice doctor was not concerned by the spot on my arm but thought I should see dermatology because of the spot on my forehead.

6 weeks later was my appointment in dermatology. A couple of days before this appointment, the spot on my forehead completely disappeared. Of course! This left me unsure if I should keep the appointment or cancel. The only reason that I decided to keep the appointment was knowing how long it takes to get into dermatology. I thought I would go into the appointment with them chuckling at me and say everything was fine.

The nurse practitioner was great, but she didn’t tell me what I thought I was going to hear. She said the spots on my face were pre-cancerous (Actinic Keratsotes) and she wanted treat this with liquid nitrogen to freeze those areas. She said that it would burn and yep, she was right!! burned! But if it stopped some bad skin areas it is worth it!

The spot on my arm... she wanted to do a biopsy on. She was concerned about this area. Hmmmph. She told me she would get back to me with the results by Tuesday. Hmmmph.

So we went to Chicago, we went to the family reunion, and we went to Notre Dame. On Tuesday morning as we were heading to Marquette my cell phone rang. I didn’t grab it in time but the nurse practitioner left a message saying that ‘she has the results of my biopsy and that we need to talk.’ Crap.

I returned her call but got her nurse. The NP was with patients and so the nurse looked up my chart. She told me that the NP would need to talk to me and would call me back. Crap.

The Nurse Practitioner finally called me back. She asked where I was? Crap. She told me she got my biopsy results back and that spot on my arm is cancerous. Crap.

I have Basal Cell Carcinoma, which is the most common form of skin cancer and the most treatable when caught early!

So, tomorrow morning, I head back to the doctor’s office where I will have a little surgery to remove the rest of that spot on my arm. And all will be good. I will need to be careful, especially in the sun and regular dermatology appointments, but all will be good!

After the initial scare and processing of the word ‘cancer’, I have to say what I am now most trying to get my thoughts around, is my new relationship with the sun. I have always loved and craved the sunshine.

The majority of our vacations are sunshine filled and with me ‘laying out’ and soaking up those golden rays. I have spent my fare share in a tanning bed. My walks outside were not only for exercise but for the opportunity to sun-tan. I could sit out in the sun for hours just soaking up the sunshine.

But now, with this wake-up call, things need to be different and I am not sure how I go about changing that… but I know I have to. It is just hard.